lose control

Kudiyon Te Mundon Ram-Ram ,Ye hai ek salaam Tushar ke har us dost ko jo ki America ke gavon se le kar Japan ke shehron tak, RUS ki barf se lekar Antarctica ke penguins ke ilake me rehte hain .

Just as Bush wants power, India wants UNSC seat, Mussharaf wants Kashmir, I want love.

I am nothing without the love I try and gain from my surroundings, be it family, friends, or even strangers. The love from strangers might be negligible but still its there.

I always thought that I would never have to use the word ”love” in my life but some remarkable people did made me realize the power of love.

My mom was always there, her love constantly showering .but I used to shy away. Now I keep longing for her love, even though our relation is good and she keeps hugging me but still, I don’t catch her affection. I now have found that my mom is the only one on earth whose love I posses.

But I give very- very special credits to my sweet hearts, who have made me realize what love is. I can not and don’t want to imagine my life without these angels.

I am nothing without them. I would like to tell all my friends that they get totally unadulterated love from my side and they need not worry that thy get my love or not, it is not necessary that I frequently visit, call or see them or reply to their sms’es .

I don’t love my friends just for the sake of loving but because of the fact that they are the ones who give impulses to my heart that forces it to pump blood.

Class 11 was the turning point in my life., I felt more responsible, more loving , more loved, more pressurized and all sorts of advancement.

I will start from the beginning, you won’t believe that I was very cute when I was an infant, I have seen my pictures and can show u some too .my super duper DADA JI initially used to take me on his back on a cycle for R am’s special mango ice cream. Later he used to buy me mother dairy ice cream. Two ice creams for me and only one-one for my younger brothers. He also bought me misti doi that tastes awesome.

I am a big mithai + choco + ice cream lover, I can lick off a one kg box of sweets in a day. God forbids I don’t get diabetic. Mithai is a better word to sweets, my grand pa used to get me mithai from all the best halwais of Delhi. He never compromised on desi ghee.

Once when I was in class 5 I wanted to go to Goa with two of my friends , the final date had passed for depositing the money , I cried before my grand father he could not see me crying and he himself started crying with me. The next day he went to my school principal and made special arrangements for me and even paid double the amount.

I don’t like hiding any thing from any body so it is easy to write this blog.

My grand father was a good 6’2”. Even at the age of 75 he worked like a laborer. Mapping various crossings of Delhi, wearing out his car- tyre treads and shoe soles.

He never got the comfort as men of his age should get even though he could have had that comfort but he cared for us a lot and gave us more priority than himself. He was initially from Pakistan, had two real sisters, a step brother, father, mother and a son at the time of partition. He sold down his property at Rawalpindi at the price of sand and came down to Ludhiana. He continued his steel business in Ludhiana with his brother, expanded it heavily, lived at Agar Nagar, a colony in Ludhiana. I loved listening to his tales from Pakistan. And this is the reason why I have an interest in Pakistan. I know the people over there are our own, we may not know each other directly but we are one if we take the whole world as a domain. I would love to visit Pakistan someday. I have been to Wagha Border in Amritsar and have seen glimpse of my grand fathers soil and our brothers over their.

I am a true patriotic. my Indian brothers don’t take it in the negative sense but I feel that Pakistan is a great country but there are elements that bring its image down. I would like to give them anything that they ask me, but that can never be at the cost of my country’s pride. Sentiments shall not overpower practical sense.

I got a chance to listen to Pakistani music and I must say that their music is awesome. This might be a hard fact for them that their movies and actors are not so good, but I would like to congratulate them and their youth for not forgetting their culture and yet keeping pace with the times. I have heard junoon, strings, jal among the young singers. Among the veterans Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan Sahib {originally from Pakistan} was a mind blowing performer, his compositions tere bin nahi lagda, kaisa ye pyaar hai alaa- alaa; are some of my favorites. Recently I read in the papers about the Sufi singer abida parveen who was in Delhi, it’s my bad luck that I did not get a chance to listen to her, but still their music is very good.

One of my uncles has a D.T.H. television feed, at his place I got a chance to view some Pakistani channels, which I enjoyed watching a lot, the food over there is also one of its kind. They are even great hosts that I came to know when we had the two cricket series over their.

I don’t want to offend my patriot brothers in India, but still there are many qualities in Pakistan. I, in any of my statements I do not intend to hurt any body’s sentiments, I just want to show how much I am interested in the birth place of my grandfather. May god give him the peace that he longed for and deserved while he was there.

I love you dada ji – pairi paina.

Ladies and gentlemen if I switch on the patriotic side of me, I would not do the mistake of comparing my feelings to that of the ones that belonged to the greatest freedom fighters we had. I have got a trailer of their feelings from the patriotic movies I have seen. And I am dead sure that it’s just the ice cap of the ice berg and surely there is the hidden part of it that is hidden deep under the water and it would be next to impossible to uncover that.

My love for my country is very important for me. I always thought I will do my part in making my country proud.

For which I have decided to join the Indian air force after my engineering. I won’t spare any intruder who tries to challenge my authority in my mother land. I like planes a lot and for my love for planes I give credit to my father who had an aim to be a pilot but was unable to fulfill it.

I have encountered a lot of things this year, which I had always heard of and seldom experienced. Things like competition pressure, professional- personal life, priorities, high level decisions, characterless people, extremely well mannered people and severe circumstances.

In the pressure part I experienced a lot of it from my family {studying more and wasting time less} from friends {wasting time} from other friends {studying} teachers {studying} teachers {working more} others {everything}.

I was selected as the vice captain of my house, I don’t want to offend any of my counter parts by any hidden allegations. But for me I was never a teachers pet, can not butter people. But always made it a point that I had a good impression on my teachers and neither did any thing special for the batch. I might have had the badge thing at the back of my mind but not in the central processing unit.

I got a chance to dance in a school function in class 2, I was a part of a mob in a class 5 function, my mom refused to come and see me at the function.

Kelleshwari told me that she and gulabo used to have a competition with each other in their primary classes but at that time I never looked out of the periphery of my class. I saw a discotheque for the first time in my life, I also went to Jaipur with the school trip. I don’t know weather I should call my self reserved or not, because I am not sure. But I never felt shy talking to girls but what ever I talked to them was business, I always had male friends in my younger classes.

My friends in my younger classes that is till class 5 were or I will say are ; Saransh , Manmeet , Prateek , Anish , Kunal , Mehul , Virat .Kelleshwari and Himanshu were in my class .I also saw Microsoft windows for the first time in class 5 .

My teachers that I still remember of my primary school days are Mrs. Marina, Mrs. Urmil, Mrs. Sudesh Kapoor, Mrs. Lata Nalur, Mrs. Sashi Kapoor, Mrs. Neelam Bhatnagar. At that time I loved the cartoon “The Centurions” on Cartoon Network and liked the green character out of the three super heroes, I don’t remember his name .In class 5, we went for a rally with banners and our banner said “our destination is mars”. I used to cheat in exams with a girl named Timsi. I went to Bharatpur in class 3 with school trip.

When I came to class 6 I met a girl who was a hidden supermodel, I never knew. My class teacher Mrs. Kavita Jain made me sit along her. We became good friends. The same year our school took us to their farm house and we planted a tree, the super model was in my group. The name of the super model is “Hens”.

She was with me till class 10^th and in that course of time we often fought, often patched up. I also had a very good female friend in Ira; she was like an elder sister. I used to talk to Hens and Ira both a lot on the phone. But I stopped it because I did not want to have a bad influence on my younger brothers. My good friends in class 6^th 7^th 8^th were Akhil, Kunal, and Prateek. In Class 9^TH -10^TH Virat, Varun, Prateek. My teachers

From class 6^th-10^th were Mrs. Kavita Jain, Mrs. Samuel, Mrs. Deol, Mrs. Ramaswami, Mrs. Mridula, Mrs. Jaswinder, Miss Mohita, Miss Kanwal, Mrs. Uma Tata, Mrs. Poonam Sharma, Mrs. Kunj Singh, Mrs.Geeta Sharma, and Miss.Garima Bhatnagar. I once gave Hens a valentine day’s card that even her mother liked.

I always thought that I will not get trapped in the boy-girl game so early. But was trapped with “Hens”. I got myself out of the game and even helped her out.

In class 8^th, I had left Delhi for ever and went to Ambala for rest of my life. Attended DAV, Ambala city, for 3 days and returned to Delhi. By that time every body came to know that we fell in lethal trap, this was just due to a fool, and I won’t name that Khet-pal.

I was never in the mood to attend the social gatherings that used to take place at the door steps of the primary wing. It was just the fresh craze of g-b attraction .Even Hens-Ira attended it but I have my own rules. These gatherings look good but it is not. I cheated till class 7, from then till now no cheating in exams.

I was very fussy and very arrogant before class 8^th but every body saw a new TUSHAR after I returned from Ambala. I would know eat all the vegetables and was not at all arrogant and became a perfect son. This is just due to the fact that I became aware of the fact that I am the eldest of my brothers and not at all responsible and my mother needs my support.

I never had major tuitions in my life and never had its need .I just for the sake of joining tuition went to a teacher, that too just for a month. Then Sanskrit got the hell out of me in 6^th -7^th, I tackled it with the help of short term tuitions just before exams. I failed once in Sanskrit in class 6^th got 3 out of 10, when 4 were passing marks. Joined a Math-English- Science tuition for a month after returning from Ambala, topped class. Class 9, Rama aunty referred a tuition center inexpensive and good, I topped class. Hindi, even though it is my mother tongue I was not good at it. Now when I don’t have Hindi in 11, all my sms’es are in Hindi {shudh Hindi}, got 62 in boards {in Hindi}. I wrote phrases from famous songs in my nibandhs, one of them was from pardes {I love my India}.

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HELLO PEOPLE THIS , JUS WANTED TO SAY SORRY FOR NOT UPDATIN THE BLOG FOR SO LONG ACTUALLY DID NOT HAVE ENUF TIME SO I PROMISE YOU A WONDERFUL VERSION OF THE BLOG THATS JS LINED UP FOR YOU, SO DO TK CARE OF YOUR SELF.

I LOVE YOU

RAM RAM

JAI HIND

LOOSE CONTROL...